Tit Retirement Party: Top Surgery Fundraiser

Open your spreadsheets and check your Outlook — it’s time for a legendary send-off of two iconic mounds from Tit Incorporated: Mx Vergara and Mx Mascaro. After 23 combined years of stellar service (yes, since puberty!), they’re retiring their racks to pursue their next chapter — and we’re throwing them the farewell they deserve.

Doors open at 6pm for farewell drinks, the dancefloor ignites at 8pm. Dress code: work (in)appropriate attire — think corporate chic with a queer twist. Come out of office? Expect a “professional cash transfer” fee (aka costume charge 😜).

This is a full-on fundraising extravaganza — ticket sales, live auctions, merch booths, vendor pop-ups, dance-offs, and a raffle. Bring cash — or be ready to tap, scan, or Venmo your support.

Their tits? Vital. Their legacy? Iconic. Their send-off? Unforgettable.

PS: Pride of our Footscray is accessible via two flights of stairs. We’re working on better accessibility — for now, send your regrets with glitter.